Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Review: Lirael

Lirael: Daughter of the ClayrLirael: Daughter of the Clayr by Garth Nix
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

When I glance at the reviews for this book, I'm actually surprised. Not that people would like this book, but that everyone would like it. I thought for sure there would be more of a split on it.

I mean, the writing is good. Nix can put together sentences and his plot is soundly articulated. His Old Kingdom is a vast and impressive construct, and his imagination is superb. There were even a couple really good scenes in here.

I just...I don't know. I couldn't wait for it to end. I hated the characters. As much as I love Tim Curry as a narrator, even he couldn't save this audiobook. Lirael was annoying, and her dog was worse. Sam started out alright, but I came to loathe him more than Lirael herself by the end. Mogget the cat was pretty good, nearly as enjoyable as he had been in the first book.

The first book, which I had liked. What happened here? Ahhh, don't know. Maybe it's suffering from middle book syndrome. Maybe the plot wasn't strong enough to keep my interest with a cast of such lame characters.

Let's talk about the characters.

I would not piss on Lirael, Sameth, or the Disreputable Dog if they were on fire.

I so much wanted to reach into that story and rip Mogget's collar off, and let him go totally batshit nuts on those three.

I didn't even like Hedge. I thought I would, but no. Fail. An Uninteresting Villain, that one. I found myself yawning nearly as much as Mogget (maybe that's why I like him).

And what's with that ending? (view spoiler)

Nothing was resolved, as of course I should expect from a middle book full of moronic characters.

Well, I did kinda like Nicholas Sayre. (view spoiler)
Maybe the Moronic Protagonists and the Disreputable Dumbass can get him out of the carbonite before Jabba the Hedge eats him.

And WTF, zombies? This thing dragged on for so long that I actually forgot there were zombies. So when they attacked, I was like !

Hell yeah!

But it didn't last long. Pretty soon we were back in the boat with our Disreputable Zeros.

I am curious to see where this series will go from here. Maybe it needs some Ewoks.

ETA: There was one thing in particular that soured me on this book. A scene about 65% into the book that really kicked ass. I mean, it was dark as hell, and a real surprise. A kick in the nuts for the reader, and a main character.

But then in the next chapter, slate wiped clean - nullified all consequences to what had happened. I mean, eh? A really badass gut wrenching type moment where shit got real, and they roll that kind of a saving throw?

The fucker didn't even feel remorse, since it was wiped out. I mean. This was Turn to the Dark Side Forever type shit, and slate clean. It didn't happen, so he can go back to whining like a bitch because he's afraid to read a damn book.

Ok, I'm seething again. I'll move on now.

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